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For Families Ready to Look at Things Differently...
No more screaming or yelling. Just peace. I just want some peace for the New Year.
How to shift out of disconnection and reactive parenting and into PEACE, regulation, and healing for the whole family in the New Year. 
Hi! My name is Rebecca Thompson. I've been working with families for over 20 years, I've been a parent for 16 years, and I've been on quite the journey to find peace and connection. I'd love to share with you what I've learned. I hope it will help you and your family as it did mine. (And continues to help me become a better parent every day.)

I was in a disconnected, reactive place as a parent myself for a long, long time. I wasn’t present with my kids. My kids were fighting in a really bad way. (We stopped going many places and I was really glad that I didn’t lose one of my close friends after a particularly disastrous play date at her house. Seriously.) 

I was overwhelmed and isolated. 

All I really wanted was harmony, peace, JOY, love. I wanted life to be easier. I wanted connection. I wanted emotionally resilient kids. Why couldn’t we all just get along???

I worked really hard at it all. And I tried just about everything I could to "fix" my family.

But nothing really worked. 

Then one day, I learned about regulation and dysregulation. I learned to look at the bigger picture of the story of our family to understand how we could start to make changes. 

I learned that nothing is more important than the relationship and I learned how to ignore the behavior in the moment and support our relationship. 

I learned to shift what I was looking at so I could be more present with my kids and what they needed. 

And things began to change in a very big way. I no longer dreaded each day. 

We had more peace, more conscious connection, more understanding. I became less reactive and I saw my children become much more emotionally resilient. 

Perfect? No. 
Better? Yes!

And I began to teach other struggling parents what I was learning and saw big changes in their families, too. I remember a client from several years ago who I'll call Sue. Sue was really dedicated to not yelling at her children. She focused really hard on being patient, but she always ended up eventually losing it with her kids. 

And then she’d beat herself up because she must not have been trying hard enough. 

Then she’d yell some more because she was stressed out. (Does this sound familiar?)

This totally didn’t work for her or her kids. Sue was able to make some really big shifts once she understood how much she and her children were all dysregulated. 

As I watched her family transform, I knew I had to share this with the world.

This was NOT the usual parenting advice. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Not Lord of the Flies different. But a really workable different. 

And it all starts with us as parents shifting our understanding of what we're seeing in our families.

It is empowering. As I realized what I had discovered and experienced, I knew this had the power to transform many lives.
CASE STUDY: One family's story of transformation from frustration and anxiety to connection with their 11 year-old daughter.
Mom and dad sat in my office expressing their concerns about their 11 year-old daughter, Samantha. Nearly all their interactions with her had become negative. 

Going anywhere was almost impossible. It was a fight to leave the house. It was a fight while they were gone, even for fun things. Nothing was feeling good for anyone.

We worked on understanding Samantha's story from the beginning. We looked at mom and dads' stories to understand why some things were harder than others with their daughter.

I guided them in understanding that Samantha's difficult behaviors were actually signs of dysregulation. That was a HUGE shift in their understanding.

I suggested mom and dad become more aware of their own regulation and name it when they're dysregulated (using the Brain Stoplight's colors- green, yellow, and red) and talking about what they were doing to help them regulate, rather than telling Samantha what to do to calm herself.

They began to model what they wanted Samantha to learn to do as they were learning it themselves. 

And slowly things began to change.

This is what she had to say after working on things for a couple of months.
"I've been able to make a huge shift and our whole family life and way of being with each other has transformed in a much more peaceful way."
Boom!
She went on...

"It's not perfect in anyway but I am amazed at the difference. A friend of mine was desperate to know what I did and what has helped and I had a hard time explaining it since it has been a process over this past year. 

After hearing that recording on regulation, I thought that that was everything that had gotten me to a great place. :) 

The simplicity of using the stop light has helped me to help myself. I used it to talk about my own discomfort in daily life situation (esp. during a kitchen remodel that was hard on all of us) and talked out loud to figure out what I need to regulate myself and then I did it (as you suggested). I've been able to help Samantha recognize her body sensations and what could be causing during uncomfortable times (storms, traveling, eating in restaurants). We came up with her own personalized "tool box" to help her get back to green. It's not always easy. It's definitely an ongoing thing.

The biggest thing that has 'set me free' is letting go of the behavior and recognizing 'weird behavior' as a plea for help at the moment. I was continually stuck that if I didn't address it then she was "getting away with it". I began to recognize that once I could put aside my feelings of embarrassment and really see her and what she was needing was when SHE began to ask for things that were regulating to her (trampoline, playing with her animals, watching the 'Wonder Years').

Like you said in that recording, life is not perfect by any means - just a hell of a lot better. Basically, I came to the conclusion that if I wanted my kids to change, that I needed to be the first element of change." -Christine in Texas

Another mom recently said this after we'd been working together for a few months:
"It was so nice tucking them in without feeling yucky inside."
"I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and all that you are doing to help our family. We had such a lovely day yesterday. Jack is really responding well already to what you suggested. On his own he chose to do all his HW for the week yesterday, he wanted to be free the next two days. Paula came home dysregulated again but we were able to help her through it while staying in a good place ourselves. I feel much peaceful after our visits. It was so nice tucking them in without feeling yucky inside. I have told lots of friends about you so they can have the peace in their homes, too." 
-Amy in St. Pete, FL 

I hear from families almost daily who are looking to make changes in their families, but aren't sure where to start.

Not everyone has the money for private sessions, but everyone should have access to this information.

I've heard you say that you're looking for affordable, practical tips on real parent time that can help you find:
 

  • Peace
  • Regulation
  • Presence
  • Less Reactivity
  • Improved Communication
  • Sense of Family Community
  • Simplifying Life so you can ENJOY your time together
The solution I came up with was this timely class. It's what YOU'VE been asking for...
Family Peace in the New Year
Week 1- The Basics, Setting the Stage for a Peaceful Year:
In this class, we’ll learn the essential tools for creating space to connect including simplifying, tips for slowing down, connecting with yourself and your family. Understanding nurturing connection in daily life and how we have the opportunity to create deeper connection every day. Persistence, not perfection.

Week 2- Understanding Your Story:
We’ll begin by looking at your own story through the lens of attachment (theory), trauma, imprints, and the window of tolerance for each of us. We’ll take a closer look at our own ability to regulate as the foundation of our family. We’ll also learn about imprints, a revolutionary theory out of the world of Pre and Perinatal Psychology.

Week 3- Understanding Your Child’s Story:
We’ll take a closer look at your child’s attachment story, imprinting, window of stress tolerance, trauma, and ability to regulate day to day. This will form the foundation of understanding the bigger patterns in your child’s experience from conception to present.

Week 4- Rewriting the Story in the Present:
In this class, we’ll be creating a space to share the stories (ours and our children’s) and begin to see how the story is playing itself out in daily life right now. We’ll explore the exciting concepts of neural pathways and neural plasticity, or the way the brain repeats old patterns and how we can create new ones!

Week 5- Communication and Conflict Resolution with the Story in Mind:
Learn and apply the concepts of bridging, presence, gratitude, and boundaries in the present. Shift your family’s story through understanding, creating a deep sense of connection and community in daily life, even if you only have a few minutes.

The best part is that this course is both affordable and convenient.
Content is delivered to your inbox in the form of short emails, audios, or videos so you can learn at your own pace from the comfort of home or mobile device on parent time.

You get the same information I share with my private clients for a fraction of the cost. You also get access to a secret Facebook group where you can connect with other parents during the course to stay on track and ask questions.

And for only $40, it's a real bargain.

But you've got to act now, because this very limited offer ends in the New Year. 

So, what are you waiting for? Click on the "Add To Cart" button now.

Sign up for Peace for the New Year 
Now For Only $40 - LIMITED TIME!
30 Day No Questions Asked Guarantee!
P.S. - if you're skimming and just wanted to see what the offer was... for just $40, you're getting my "Peace for the New Year" e-course - and the opportunity to change your family forever. 
The Consciously Parenting Project @ 2014 - Family Peace for the New Year
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